Dorsher's World

Award Winning Speaker

For all those stand-up comedy fans of mine out there, I’ve got some great news to share. Apart from being selected as TIME Man of the Year 2006, I am proud to say that I am now an award winning speaker: for SPEAKING!

I know the old joke: I’m an award winning writer, I got a silver ribbon at the pine wood derby! This is not a case of the old bate and switch. If I wanted to do that, I would have used my 2002 photography award to cement that. There I no rub: the good people of Victoria Toastmaster’s Club have been recognizing the skills since I’ve been joining their meetings, to which I’m quite honored and humbled.

Tonight I scored ribbon number 5 from the club for best table topic speech of the night – which is the impromptu speech portion of the evening. A topic is given, and one has to come up unprepared and speak on the topic for 90 seconds.

My topic tonight:
Three people have fallen into the water, and you need to choose who to save first: a scientist, a government official, and a great public speaker.

The response:
I’d like to start by saying, that as a former lifeguard YOU NEED TO SAVE ALL THREE WHO FELL INTO TE WATER. But, for the sake of the question, let’s assume that we can only choose one.

I would then like to know which, of the three, can swim – as naturally they would be lower priority for my assistance. For the sake of the question, let us once more assume that all three cannot swim, and are in equal need of rescue.

First, we have the government official. I personally think we’ve been doing far too much the last two years to save government officials, and I would choose to let them go under.

Secondly, the scientist. We don’t know what kind of scientist this is. This could be a good, honest, hardworking scientist, searching for the cure to AIDS or cancer, or working on new inventions or discoveries. It could also be an evil, or MAD scientist, plotting to destroy the world a you may have seen in the movies, or as I’ve seen them, in cartoons. I’ll take my chances though, and save the scientist.

Now this must leave you puzzled as to why I haven’t chosen to save the great public speaker, and the answer is simple: a great public speaker should be able to talk their way out of any problem.

Thank you.

This entry was published on January 4, 2011 at 11:51 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Award Winning Speaker

  1. Clever. I hope that ribbon is going up on your fridge.

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